It what seems ages ago, my husband and I went through a really rough patch known as hypomania. Actually, he loved it. It was me who was distraught and miserable. You see, while my husband had no problem finding like minded individuals online going through or having experienced the exact same phase of bipolar disorder as he was, I couldn’t find any groups, chat rooms, or posts from the spouses of bipolar people. I felt very alone and isolated. No one was sharing their experiences with bipolar as the spouse.
When he finally recovered and things settled down, I vowed that I would try to help other partners of bipolar people in their time of need. I wanted to be their voice online. I wanted them to understand that they weren’t alone, that what they were feeling was ok and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
So I did some videos on YouTube and started this blog. I share my experiences. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s embarrassing and hard to admit. Sometimes people lash out at me and make nasty comments.
I don’t say I have the magic solution or that your relationship will survive. I only want to show other spouses and partners that it can work when one partner has bipolar but that it can be really rough. And I understand. People in your real life may not but I’ve carved out a little space online that you can come to make you feel a little better.
The bipolar is always there. Like a third person in our marriage but it is more of a silent partner these days. So I forget. I forget what the real bad times were like. I forget that other spouses are going through bad times and episodes right now. It’s good to have a reminder of why I started to share, all those years ago.
Why I Don’t Hide My Experiences With Bipolar
This is an email I received just yesterday. It reminds me why I share. I helped one person. And that’s all it takes. Hopefully, this person will pay it forward and help someone else.
I have been married for 22 years to my husband but have known him for almost 30. I have been with him since the age of 14. It wasn’t until within the last year that he had officially been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. We have always known he suffered from depression and was “borderline” bipolar. I am just now understanding what this illness is and that he really has been struggling with it since I have known him.
I finally did a search on YouTube and came across your videos. I wanted to give you a shout out to say THANK YOU! It was comforting to know my thoughts and feelings about loving someone with bipolar are very common. What you have mentioned in the videos and your blog is like hitting the nail on the head. I especially enjoyed your blog post about, “I’M NOT HERE FOR YOU AND YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS“. Right on! I more so relate with every one of your “Sometimes” phrases.
Thank you for being a voice. I wanted to let you know you have reached out to me, to my heart, you have given me the additional strength, confidence, and strength to endure during the most chaotic times.
Share. That’s my only secret.
Grab your FREE Mood Tracker here!
Stay on top of mood swings with this easy to use tracker. Designed for caregivers or sufferers.