If we were having coffee at a local shoppe or restaurant, I would get us a table by the door. There is something about caffeine that triggers my need for nicotine. And since pretty much all establishments are smoke free now, I have to satisfy my addiction by getting that lovely wiff of smoke that follows smokers as they enter.

But I must confess, my smelling strangers is a new habit. You see, I have a secret. Exactly one month ago, I quit smoking. And honestly, stupid me, I thought I had it licked. I just spent 3 glorious weeks in Florida. And when I was there, most days would go by without me even thinking about smoking. I was so proud of myself. This was going to be easy. I am a super star.

Then I came home and all the triggers and memories of my smoking life came flooding back. Let me set something straight, I did not WANT to quit smoking. I LOVE SMOKING!!! I did it because I know I should quit. As a midlife woman staring down the back end of my lifeline, I am acutely aware of the time I have left and the quality of life I wish to have for as long as possible. And that does not include pulling an oxygen tank around with me.

By far my biggest trigger is driving. I am perfectly fine if someone else is driving me in their own car. I have never been one to light up in a friend’s car if they aren’t a smoker. No problem. But, Lord oh Lord, as soon as I got back from my vacation and got behind the wheel of my own car, the need to surround myself in a beautiful, billowing cloud of smoke was over-whelming.

No, I have not succumbed to my addiction. I am still smoke free but struggling.

Oh, and the dozen donuts are for me. If you want some with your coffee, go get your own.

'Smoking is not disgusting.' Bebe makes it sound orgasmic.Click To Tweet

I hope you enjoyed having coffee with me today. Please visit the hostess of Weekend Coffee Share at Part-Time Monster Blog.