My mom has a plethora of sayings. In spite of vowing when I was younger that I would never use any of them, many made it into my regular repertoire with my children.

There’s the classics like:

“Don’t sit so close to the TV, you’ll ruin your eyes.”

“Don’t go out without your hat, you’ll get sick.”

“If you don’t have anything to do, I can give you something to do.”

I must point out that as my mother aged, I realized that she could rival Ida Morganstern for the crown of Queen of Guilt. Maybe it was just her way of jabbing at us after all the years of trouble we caused her as teenagers. Now that I’m reaching 50, I’m ready to try out this batch of gems.

“I hope one day your children treat you this way.”

“Let’s see how you are at my age.”

“Thank you for calling, I thought you forgot my number.”

Yeah, these fit me just fine.

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